So I just got back from a ridiculous interview for a life insurance sales job. What a bunch of fucking clowns. Upon my complaint that I had to go out and find a job recently, the Craig Hamilton told me that I already had a job and that I just needed to get to work. Props to that. Now if I can just figure out how to make my work pay so I can stroke a check to these assholes that keep sending me bills in the mail everyday.
On another note, I was drinking vodka and reading Nietzsche last night (no shit, the combination makes for a knife-in-the-eye hangover, I promise)and I mentioned to my wife that I didn't have the gift for straight-faced pseudo-philosophical melancholy like I did when I was a manic 22-yr-old. "Wife", I said, "if I could find that angsty place again, I bet my art would be super. I think I may need to leave you and the kid and go live by a river for a while." She told me to lay off the vodka and asked what my problem was and why it required that it keep her awake (she has a job).
I told her that my lack of insight kept me from knowing what subject matter I should pursue in my painting. I admitted red-faced that I kept feeling the urge to paint based on ideas in the books I read nightly. "Husband", she said, "you are a painter, not a writer. It's your job to take in information, observe, and reproduce it in a visual way that speaks to people. It's not your job (I think she smirked a little at job but I was seeing two of her by now and I can't swear to it)...It's not your job to invent the things you observe. That could be considered self-absorbed (I know she smirked at this point)."
Considering that she makes a good point even now that I'm painfully sober, be on the look-out for Nietzsche and Kafka inspired work. Also be aware that there may be significantly less work inspired by vodka.
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